Why Secret Diary Of A Call Girl Is Nothing Like The Real Life Of A High Class Escort

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I used to be a huge fan of the Belle De Jour blogs, newspaper articles and subsequent TV series; Secret Diary of a Call Girl. In fact, probably like many women, Belle was partly why I became an Escort. Billie Piper made the lifestyle seem so exciting and glamorous. I adored sex and it seemed to be a lucrative line of work, so much so that when I fell on hard-times and after exhausting other job possibilities, I found myself applying to Escort Agencies for work.

However, as a real High Class Escort who has been in the business since 2009, I can categorically say that Secret Diary of a Call Girl is nothing like real life. So if you are reading this because you are wondering if you should begin a career in sex work because the programme appealed to you, then my advice to you is don’t.

The reality of sex work, as opposed to how it is portrayed on TV is very different. Belle swans around with a cool soundtrack following her every move, clients appear from nowhere and pay her vast amounts of money and it’s just one crazy party after another.

Belle, like myself, originally started her Escort career with an Agency and went on to become independent.  The reality of work with some agencies is this, in the beginning, they will send you to all the best jobs in the best hotels with the wealthiest clients. But after a while, they will expect you to go anywhere at all hours of the day and night and when I say anywhere, I mean ANYWHERE. I was once told to go to a B&B in the roughest part of Manchester at 3.30am. When I objected, I was told that I would be going whether I liked it or not. I replied that I would not visit there during the day, let alone in the middle of the night and hung up the phone. After trying other agencies, who really didn’t care about my safety at all (I could write a whole book about bad Escort Agencies), I decided it was time to become Independent.

This is where I have the biggest problem with Secret Diary. Belle was an Independent Escort too and one of the most time consuming and frustrating parts of sex work is the filtering of clients. There was barely any mention of this in the series, which surprised me because it’s such a large part of the job.

Indoor Escorts acquire clients through the internet and whether they choose to be contacted by phone, text, email or a mixture of all three, screening clients is a massive pain. There are so many time wasters, weirdos, men with no-manners and no idea as to how to talk to a human being, let alone an Escort. I have a very large block list, which grows bigger and bigger by the day and using your gut instinct to try and select a good client is a mine field. I find that time wasters and idiots are the majority and the lovely, genuine clients are in the minority.

So why was this not portrayed in the series? I’m guessing it wasn’t glamorous enough to make it into the programme and it would have spoiled the overall ambiance of the show.

Another problem I have with the show is the money side of things. Belle seemed to be positively swimming in money and I’ve never found that to be realistic. Once you have filtered out the time wasters, weirdos and idiots, you can be left with very slim pickings indeed and if you are based outside of the London area, it’s impossible to charge over the top rates. Clients just won’t pay insane prices nowadays because there are plenty of girls (and in particular Eastern European ladies), who charge next to nothing and so clients expect all women, regardless of their caliber to charge the same rates. My clients are under the impression that I am wealthy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I make enough money to get by, but I don’t have any savings because once all my bills have been paid, I don’t have wads of spare cash to play with. I have a very simple, quite meager existence, which is in stark contrast to the Belle lifestyle.

The sex work itself wasn’t portrayed particularly accurately either. There is nothing and I repeat NOTHING glamorous about waiting around in your Incall apartment for a complete stranger to arrive at your door. For all I know, this client may be the one who assaults, rapes, robs or murders me, he may even go on to become a stalker. There is also nothing sexy about having sex with a fat, ugly, sweaty man, who you would never look twice at in real life. Yes, attractive men do make an appearance from time to time, but I’m usually so worried about my safety and fed up with sex, that all thoughts of having a hot and horny time go out of the window. There is also the constant worry about what the neighbours are thinking and don’t get me started on relationships and friendships.

Belle seemed to indulge in a lot of role play and she went to an awful lot of trouble for her clients. Remember the episode where she role played the James Bond type scenario? The guy gave her an entire script to memorize, she had to buy new outfits a wig and props. Seriously, what Escorts really have the time or inclination to be doing this? If this guy contacted me, I would have laughed in his face and then blocked him.

Then there was the episode where she became a ‘Courtesan’ and she promptly moved into a complete stranger’s apartment. Who in their right mind would do that? She knew nothing about him, only what the women from the agency told her and suddenly she was at his beck and call, 24 hours a day. I can’t speak on behalf of other Escorts, but I definitely would not want to put myself in this situation. It was so utterly unrealistic.

Now you may be thinking that it was just a TV show and so it’s not going to be entirely factual, but that’s not the point. This programme was portrayed in such a way that it made sex work seem like easy money and the point was hammered home that it was based on the life of a ‘real’ Escort. It has inspired countless naive women (like myself) to become Escorts, without fully realizing the reality of the work. If TV shows about sex work are going to be made, then at least someone please make one that shows the true reality of life as an indoor Escort.

 

 

 

13 Ways To Become An Escort’s Favourite Client

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man-with-flowersSometimes you meet an Escort who really ticks all your boxes. She’s fun, stunningly beautiful, seriously sexy and definitely someone you would like to meet on a regular basis.

But how can you become her number one client? The one who’ll she’ll drop everything for (ooer) when you call?

Here are my 13 top tips:

  1. Never, ever cancel a booking, especially if it’s the first time you will be meeting. She may not give you another chance to meet again.
  2. Always arrive on time. If you are too early, there’s a good chance she won’t be ready for you and if you are late, it will have a knock-on effect with her other bookings and this won’t be appreciated.
  3. Gifts are always lovely. They aren’t obligatory, or expected, but they will show that you are a gentleman.
  4. Don’t send presents or cards to her address using her working name without asking first. It’s pretty safe to say that her neighbours / postman /delivery man won’t be aware of what she does and you may blow her cover.
  5. If you arrive with presents, make sure they are well hidden. Strange men arriving at all hours of the day and night with flowers and champagne etc. are sure to raise the neighbours eyebrows.
  6. Always arrive freshly showered, even if she will expect you to shower again when you arrive. It’s just good client etiquette.
  7. Ensure that your nails (on both your hands and toes) are trimmed as well as your pubic hair too. Your Escort will be well-groomed for you and it’s polite to reciprocate.
  8. Favourite clients are regular clients. I’m not saying visit every day, but weekly bookings are usual. You won’t become a favourite client if you only visit once in a blue moon.
  9. Don’t be needy. You meet, you have fun and that’s the end until the next booking. Respect her space, she doesn’t want you to be endlessly texting, calling or emailing.
  10. Do write a wonderful review. Reviews are essential for all businesses nowadays and if you say good things, you will be viewed upon a lot more favorably than a client who doesn’t bother.
  11. Respect her confidentiality as she respects yours. Many working girls prefer to keep their identities a secret for good reasons. Don’t pester her to tell you her ‘real name’ and address etc. This kind of interest isn’t welcome.
  12. Never ask for discounts or for services she doesn’t offer. You are guaranteed to be blacklisted if you do this.
  13. Don’t ask if you can go on a non-Escort date unless she specifically asks you first. You will cross the line and become a pest and she won’t want to meet you again. Remember, Escorts are paid for their time and companionship, if you ask for freebies, you can kiss goodbye to seeing her again.

 

Does Penis Size Really Matter?

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514301931Everybody knows that most men are obsessed with the size of their penises. The majority of men feel that having a large member is a truly fantastic thing and makes them more desirable. In fact, having a small penis can make some men feel quite inadequate, but is this obsession with size based on the reality of what woman actually want?

From a personal point of view, I’m really not a fan of massive cocks. I’m very petite (in all areas) and so an enormous appendage is just uncomfortable and quite often painful for me. A massive penis may look impressive, but when I’m confronted with one, I feel the urge to cross my legs, they just don’t do anything for me.

I’m sure that not every woman feels this way, but that there are some Escorts out there who feel the same and many gents do get turned away from bookings because of their gargantuan size. I’m much happier with an average size cock, I don’t particularly mind a smaller one either, after all, everyone is different and cocks come in all shapes and sizes, it’s what makes life interesting, variety is the spice of life!

On the other end of the spectrum are the micro penises and the men with just a few inches to play with. I do feel for these men, because penetrative sex is virtually impossible at this size. I have every sympathy for men in this position, but it doesn’t mean they can’t give pleasure or receive it in other ways.

Having met many clients over the years, I’ve found that it’s possible for a man’s cock to shrink. I’m not referring to it’s flaccid state, no this a genuine phenomenon and it occurs when men become obese. For every 50 pounds that a man is overweight, he will lose an inch from his penis. I know this is true because I’ve seen it. It is definitely a thing. Obese men tend to have cock’s that shrink to the size of a chipolata, making penetrative sex impossible. Wanking can only be achieved by using 2 fingers and oral sex is just frustrating. The good news is it’s not a permanent state and the inches can be regained with weight loss.

So does size matter for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

8 Signs Your Client Is Becoming A Needy, Clingy Nightmare

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Clients come in all shapes and sizes, some are more needy than others. But how can you tell if your client is becoming a little too clingy? Here are 8 tell tale signs:

  1. He texts, emails or calls without wanting to make a booking, but just to chat.
  2. He sends an endless amount of text messages, most ending with this face.love-emoticon
  3. He drops hints that he’s single, can’t find a girlfriend and that you are his ideal woman.
  4. When he takes you out for dinner dates, he introduces you to the waiter as his fiance.
  5. He wants to introduce you to his friends or family or both.
  6. He sends you lengthy messages, describing in great detail how much he adores you.
  7. If you don’t reply to his messages or phone calls, he doesn’t get the hint and continues to call and message you regardless.
  8. You tell him you don’t want to see him anymore and he still won’t leave you alone.

If you can say yes to any of these things, you need to block him immediately! He’s not going to give up, so be tough and get rid of him before he gets worse. Continuing to talk to him in any shape or form will only encourage him, so don’t feel bad. Trust me, I know from experience!

“Are You Going To Come? I Want You To Have Pleasure Too.” – What I’m Really Thinking When Clients Ask This Question

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When Harry Met Sally Orgasm Scene

I’m often asked this question, in fact at least 7 out of 10 clients will say this during a meeting. I really hate this question because it puts me in a really awkward position. I’m not big on faking orgasms with clients, in fact I never do it. I’m just not comfortable with it. Some clients arrive to a booking specifically requesting no fake orgasms, they hate all the loud, pseudo moaning and screaming, which is good, because I’m pretty sure my neighbours wouldn’t be all that impressed either.

It probably sounds odd that I don’t do it, but I’m a big believer in rewarding men for good sex skills. If I pretend to orgasm during his woeful inept oral and he becomes a regular client, I’m only going to receive more of the same every time he visits. So my theory is it’s better to tactfully teach excellent skills than it is to pretend, because it’s only going to benefit us both in the long run.

Orgasms during meetings are a tricky thing. Very occasionally I meet a gent who really knows what he’s doing. I adore oral and if a man can give good head, then yes, there is a possibility that he may make me come. I’ve found it’s usually the ones you would never expect to be all that hot in the bedroom that will surprise you with a mind-blowing orgasm.

I think I find it difficult to switch off. I’m so focused on getting my client to climax, that all thoughts about my own pleasure tend go out of the window. After all this is my job and contrary to popular belief, I’m not doing this work because I’m soooooo horny and I love sex, I’m doing this to pay my bills and so orgasms aren’t high on my agenda.

Even when a man is supremely good at oral, I won’t be thinking about him doing it, I’ll be fantasizing that it’s a beautiful woman pleasing me. Sorry guys, that’s really what I’m thinking.

So when the awkward “Are you going to come” question arises, I have a plethora of lame responses ready, ranging from “Don’t worry about me, I love watching you come” and if it’s a short booking “Oh it takes me so long, we probably haven’t got time”. I know both of those responses aren’t at all sexy, but if you immediately suck a client’s cock straight after saying it, he is soon distracted.

 

 

10 Things Clients Do That Are Extremely Irritating

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annoying-clients-escortsClients can be massively frustrating and filtering out the good from the huge ocean of bad is a painstaking task. Even the nicest regular client can become a complete arsehole. Here’s my list of 10 of the most irritating things clients do:

  1. Cancelling Bookings – This little nugget is probably at the top of most Escort’s lists. If a client cancels with me, he doesn’t get a 2nd chance to re-book. Yes, this may seem quite harsh, but I have found from bitter experience that once a client cancels, he will go on to do so time and time again. In fact, if you use Adultwork, you can see in some client’s feedback that they do indeed have a pattern of cancelling.
  2. Texting When I Specifically Ask Not To Do So – It’s clearly written on my profile, but I still wake up to a mountain of text messages every morning from men who insist on texting. I never reply and they always get blocked, so I don’t see the point.
  3. Asking If I Am Available RIGHT NOW – Unless you are standing right outside my apartment, how on earth can we meet RIGHT NOW? You don’t know where I am and you have no idea as to how long it will take to find me. Plus, I am never available at the drop of a hat. I have things to do, other clients to meet, plus I’m just not that desperate.
  4. Asking About Services And Prices When They Have Been Clearly Explained On My Profile – I have found that genuine clients just call or email with a specific date and meeting time in mind. It’s a no-nonsense phone call or message, quick and easy and painless. Men who call asking tons of questions rarely go on to book. I hang up the phone on these types and they are immediately blocked.
  5. Asking For My Postcode Straight Away – I call these types ‘Address Hunters’. They don’t want to book, they just want to know where I am.
  6. Asking For Discounts – This is not Poundland. I offer a high-class, intimate service and if you can’t afford my prices, go elsewhere.
  7. Arriving To A Meeting And Requesting Services I Do Not Offer – This is seriously not cool and I don’t like being put in a position where I have to say no and feel vulnerable.
  8. Asking To Meet At Times I Am Very Obviously Not Available – I go to a lot of trouble to list my availability on my profile and so it’s frustrating when men call who haven’t bothered to read the information.
  9. Expecting You To Be Shaved To Within An Inch Of Your Life, Yet They Are As Hairy As Cousin It – Just ugh. Double standards anyone?
  10. Not Showering When They Really Need To – No woman wants to have sex with a sweaty man who smells of piss and has a cock covered in nob cheese.

The Handsome Speedy Client

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seductionI have had a few websites in the past and they have always worked very well for me. The majority of my clients arrived via Google and Punterlink. I’ve also had a profile on and off on Adultwork and as AW seems to be the main Escort website that clients use nowadays, I decided to abandon my website about a year ago and instead, I solely rely on AW for all of my work.

For many years, I always advertised my phone number, but I became tired of the moronic phone calls and text messages I would receive, at all hours of the day and night. Instead, I insisted clients contact me via email. This strategy has worked ok, but I haven’t been anywhere near as busy as I would like. Plus, I have been relying on feedback from other lovely ladies on clients and I’ve found more and more that I don’t particularly agree with a lot of it. Many of the men who have arrived at my door with ‘glowing references’, have in fact been complete weirdos, whose company I have had to suffer for the duration of the booking, just to keep the peace. They were definitely not welcome back to my boudoir and I certainly didn’t leave them any fabulous feedback either.

I always used to pride myself on my gut instincts. Taking a phone call and ‘getting the vibe’ of the client from that call. Believe it or not, it worked 98% or so of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I still spoke to clients on the phone after receiving their initial email on AW however, I allowed my guard to be let down because of good feedback and where my gut said that something was wrong, I ignored it and tried to go with the feedback instead. This has proved to be quite a rubbish strategy, so I now have my phone number on my profile (and touch wood… ooer!), it seems to be working quite well. Bookings are up (the phone is ringing off the hook) and clients are a lot nicer and younger (I tend to get a lot of retired men).

Even though I have had a lot of calls today, the majority wanted to meet at lunch time and as there is only one of me, there is only so much I can do on my own.

So I have had two bookings today. The first was a repeat client, his 2nd visit. Rich is in his 40’s, he’s very handsome and he tells me that he works in the film industry, sourcing set locations. I have no reason to disbelieve him and I do love hearing about his tales of travelling the world. Also, he’s extremely easy on the eye and that makes for a very happy booking. He’s also fairly easily pleased and he strode into my apartment this lunchtime, confidently and very ready to play. He had popped into my bedroom and had begun stripping off before I could finish getting him a glass of water, then he headed straight into the shower.

I tend to get a bit tongue tied around the handsome ones. I become a bit like a giggly school girl and my words don’t come out properly. I’m so used to retired, eccentric men, that when a hot client arrives, I get a bit nervous and silly.

Rich has 30 minute bookings and doesn’t stay for the full half hour, so today it was passionate kissing, oral, 69 and a hand job to completion. Nice, simple and easy and with that, he cleaned himself up, kissed me goodbye and set off in his lovely, cosy looking winter coat. I do like our speedy meetings!